Who Changed The Rules?

Who Changed The Rules? That's what you may have found yourself thinking like many of us at some point in our lives. Something happens to make you think perhaps you are the only one following the rules you were raised by and wonder "How naive could I be?" . . ." Did we all start out with the same rules and they changed along the way without me being notified?"

I would like to believe that we all start out with good intentions and subtly along the way we are influenced by others (the people we choose to be around), our environment, and events that influence our opinions. Those influences can be good or bad.

Reflecting on our beliefs and evaluating them as to their validity in the current world and environment gives you the opportunity to change or to reinforce your beliefs. That's a good thing! It is important for us to know who we really are; if you can't be honest with yourself that is worse than someone lying to you. If you don't know who you really are, how can you expect others to be who they say they are?

CONGRUENCY IN OUR ACTIONS AND BELIEFS

It is said that we are really three different people - the one we would like to be, the one others think we are, and the one we really are. Frankly, it's easier making sure that our actions reflect our beliefs. That is how I determine who to believe. We are what we do, not what we say.Politics is a great example of many who try to be all things to all people and will be whatever you want them to be. How can you trust someone like that? It is okay to change your beliefs along the way if it is purposeful and done after reflection; as we grow and are exposed to more events and situations and experiences, we learn more and can change our opinion on things but our basic core beliefs shouldn't change for the most part.

When you are feeling down and out, try watching a video or listening to a cd or tape by one or more of the following motivational speakers. This is guaranteed to make you feel better, be more positive, and want to get up and take action. Make it a habit to listen to a cd or tape while driving and you will be amazed how fast your thinking and perspective will change. Since thoughts determine how we feel, it is important to feed our mind with positive ones. Laughter is a great mood elevator. It is impossible to feel bad when laughing! Zig Ziglar is my favorite choice for laughter and good advice provided with his dry sense of humor.

• Zig Ziglar
• Dennis Waitley
• Wayne Dyer
• Brian Tracy
• Jack Canfield
• Mark Victor Hansen
• Jim Rohn
• Anthony Robbins

It's all in your perspective: When bad things happen to you, there is usually an opportunity for growth if you can only recognize it. What appears to be a bad thing can actually be that nudge that we need to make changes in our lives. When my world fell apart the first time, I felt devastated and hated feeling like a victim. Slowly, I then began to read and explore my options along with evaluating what I believed, where I wanted to go and how I was going to get there. You always have a choice. It is how you respond to the situation that makes all the difference. If you choose to feel sorry for yourself and become a victim then you have no power.

Certain major events in life will almost force you to re-evaluate your belief system; divorce is one of those life forces that can impact you and sometimes almost crush you. Do you remember thinking "I would trust him/her with my life." Later, looking back you realize that is exactly what you did. That's the first time I wondered who changed the rules without telling me. Maybe we were never playing by the same rules to begin with - maybe I was the only one in the world to be so naive. . . Of course, that is the point, if you knew the rules had changed then you could choose to accept the new rules or to take action.

It seems like we are being tested at various times to see if our values and ethics are still valid in the current world we live in. Our actions demonstrate who we really are. Examining your beliefs and comparing those with your actions is the only way to honestly evaluate if you are who you think you are. Congruency in beliefs and actions is the only proof you can trust whether it is your self or the people around you.

"It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude." - Zig Ziglar"

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain

"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It's because of them I did it myself." - Albert Einstein

"I had no shoes and complained, until I met a man who had no feet." - Indian Proverb

"Positive thinking won't let you do anything but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will." - Zig Ziglar

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” - Dr Wayne Dyer

"Be helpful. When you see a person without a smile, give him yours." -- Zig Ziglar